At one point in most of our lives we are scared of going to the dentist. Well, maybe not. I don't think I was ever scared of the dentist, I just didn't want to go. This post is about a horrifying experience my best friend/sister, Sas, had when going to the dentist.
Sas had to get her wisdom teeth removed. Side note - Why the hell do they call them wisdom teeth? I mean when you get them it hurts like hell and usually f's up the alignment of your teeth! Where does wisdom come into play? They should be called demon teeth, or painful teeth! Something that fits them better. - Stupid side not I know. So anyways she had to get them removed.
The dentist hooked her up to a heart monitor, since she was going to be put under and have two monster teeth ripped/cut from her mouth. The monitor beeped reassuring her all will be well knowing her heart was beating strongly. Then they began to put her under. As she was slipping off into a blissful drug induced sleep the monitor flat-lined. The thing on her finger that was attached to the machine fell off, although as she was passing out she did not know that. Finally right before unconsciousness took her the dentist says, "You're dead." As if saying Oh well, what can you do? Even in her drug induced state she became worried. Was she really dead? What was going on?
As she awoke it happened a second time and again the dentist told her she died. As soon as she was able to she took off like a bat out of hell. She was officially traumatized. Dentists are scary.
Life lesson? Don't get a dentist that jokes about death. Hahaha!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Barney is Evil...?
Do you remember when Barney was the best thing in the world? When you were the coolest f-ing five year old if you had Barney at your birthday party? I do!
I remember Barney coming to my party! It was the best thing in the world! I even have the pictures of me hugging the poor guy in the Barney suit like my life depended on it. I must say that person was a trooper because I have a summer birthday so they were probably sweating their ass off trying to please a bunch of five and six year olds who were hopped up on sugar from the cake we just ate. Mmmmm...cake.
Anyways, My birthday was a success! Barney came, we all got pictures, I got presents...what could have been better? I surely believe nothing could have been better than that! Right...? I have come to tell you that not everyone shares my affections for Barney.
My best friend, who is like my sister, Ni, shared her horrific birthday story with me. She told me that her mother came to her asking if she wanted Barney to come to her party! She warily, yet eagerly agreed to the prospect of the lovable dinosaur coming to her party. Little did she know the terror she would feel at the sight of him.
May I ask, what is so scary about a large green and purple dinosaur?
The day of Ni's birthday had arrived and all was going well...until Barney showed up in all his glory. Instead of running and hugging his leg like I did Ni cowered in fear. She was petrified of Barney and freaked out. Barney was not her friend and she was definitely going to make that fact known, to her parents and especially to the purple and green monster standing before her.
Barney had turned into an evil party ruining being. Till this day Ni can retell her birthday story, recounting her fear to a 't'.
Life lesson? Don't get sweaty people in costumes to come to your kid's parties. Get a damn pony for pony rides, or someone who can paint faces, or small race cars that kids can play with. Just not people in costumes because you never know if your kid will be afraid until you see them with an expression of terror and cowering behind you in fear, as if you were a shield that can protect them from any evil being. :o)
I remember Barney coming to my party! It was the best thing in the world! I even have the pictures of me hugging the poor guy in the Barney suit like my life depended on it. I must say that person was a trooper because I have a summer birthday so they were probably sweating their ass off trying to please a bunch of five and six year olds who were hopped up on sugar from the cake we just ate. Mmmmm...cake.
Anyways, My birthday was a success! Barney came, we all got pictures, I got presents...what could have been better? I surely believe nothing could have been better than that! Right...? I have come to tell you that not everyone shares my affections for Barney.
My best friend, who is like my sister, Ni, shared her horrific birthday story with me. She told me that her mother came to her asking if she wanted Barney to come to her party! She warily, yet eagerly agreed to the prospect of the lovable dinosaur coming to her party. Little did she know the terror she would feel at the sight of him.
May I ask, what is so scary about a large green and purple dinosaur?
The day of Ni's birthday had arrived and all was going well...until Barney showed up in all his glory. Instead of running and hugging his leg like I did Ni cowered in fear. She was petrified of Barney and freaked out. Barney was not her friend and she was definitely going to make that fact known, to her parents and especially to the purple and green monster standing before her.
Barney had turned into an evil party ruining being. Till this day Ni can retell her birthday story, recounting her fear to a 't'.
Life lesson? Don't get sweaty people in costumes to come to your kid's parties. Get a damn pony for pony rides, or someone who can paint faces, or small race cars that kids can play with. Just not people in costumes because you never know if your kid will be afraid until you see them with an expression of terror and cowering behind you in fear, as if you were a shield that can protect them from any evil being. :o)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Bathroom Spider
So, I haven't written on here in forever! So here ya go...
Okay, so this morning I went to the bathroom to take a shower. I grabbed my necessities and exited my room. I entered the bathroom thinking all was okay when suddenly I spotted it. My eyes zeroed in on it like a hawk spotting a mouse in a field.
It was a tan color, like the color of sand. It was a fairly good size, although to me size doesn't matter, I hate them all. It's eight legs were a little on the long side as they clung to the wall.
My mouth popped into an 'O' shape and my eyes widened in terror. What was I going to do now? Should I go and get someone to kill the fiend? No, I couldn't just wake up one of my housemates because of my fear...right? I shook my head knowing I couldn't do that. I just need to deal with it, and hopefully not get killed or injured in the process.
I went through my movements watching the evil creature, never once removing my eyes from it. I got into the shower, peeking over the shower doors to make sure it didn't move towards me. I was safe...for now.
I showered hurriedly, scrubbing the shampoo into my scalp with my fingertips when I decided to take my next peek. To my horror it began moving. No! Why!? Why is this happening!? I just want a shower!
I decided my only way to survive was to scare it. That should work, right? I mean my momma always said that it's probably just as scared of you as you are of it... Although, I doubt it was. These creatures aren't scared of shit, excuse my language. - Side note. Why do people say excuse my French when they curse? I mean it's not like the French are cursing fiends. I mean seriously, their curse words probably don't even sound like shit and bitch, they probably say them in, I don't know, their own language!- Anyways, this thing would definitely not be scared, but I'll try my best.
I screamed. What? If you saw it moving towards you, you'd scream to! I cried tearlessly. It was stuck between one of those half scared laugh and crying. You know what a scared laugh is right? It's like when you're so scared you don't know what to do besides laugh. I did that on a roller coaster once but it wasn't because I was scared. I told my best friend/sister's little sister, R (that's what she'll be called), that the ride was slow because she was scared to go on. I forgot that the roller coaster was in fact NOT slow and would toss us around in our seats quite violently. As I heard her screams I felt horrible! I felt so bad but my reaction to it was to LAUGH! I friggin was giggling and laughing out right like a mad woman! *Shakes my head* But I digress.
So now I'm laughing/crying in the shower and I begin trying to yell at it.
"Please! Stop moving! Don't come this way! Please stop!" *Laugh/crying* "Stay on your side of the bathroom!"
It stopped where it was. Thank God! Every time it would attempt to move it would fall slightly and dangle which caused me to shriek slightly each time. I hurriedly finished my shower, always watching it's movements.
I dried myself off as fast as I could, threw on my robe, grabbed my stuff and raced out of the bathroom. Great, now I won't be able to go to the bathroom all day.
After getting myself ready I heard my housemates so I decided to go talk to them, ask them a question really. I approached my housemate, S (This will be her name in this).
"S, will you please kill the bathroom spider!?" I asked.
"The bathroom spider?" She laughed. I explained to her my horrific experience. "Okay, sure!"
!
I watched as she entered the bathroom and disposed of the fiend. My hero! She barely batted an eyelash! Amazing!
Now you know that the evil creature in my story is a spider. YES! A spider! I hate them. Why am I scared of them? I have no clue why. They're just scary! I mean there are ones that can jump! JUMP! And I read that there are ones that swim! Now I have to be scared when I'm in water too! They're evil killing machines that can snatch up poor defenseless babies, kittens, or puppies! YES YOU HEARD ME! They're friggin killers! Well, in my mind at least.
If you couldn't tell I'm afraid of spiders I'll tell you out right... I'm friggin scared of spiders! Big, small, brown, black, I don't discriminate! I hate them all! They all are scary little fuckers.
Life lesson time? Hmmm, I guess it's okay to be scared. It's part of life. Whether you are scared of spiders, bears, pigs, fish...it's okay. Everyone is scared of something. It's how you face your fears that shows your true character. Yea I couldn't kill the spider, but I still took a shower without fainting. I think that shows my bravery. Hahaha! Yea right...
P.S. Spiders suck! :o)
Okay, so this morning I went to the bathroom to take a shower. I grabbed my necessities and exited my room. I entered the bathroom thinking all was okay when suddenly I spotted it. My eyes zeroed in on it like a hawk spotting a mouse in a field.
It was a tan color, like the color of sand. It was a fairly good size, although to me size doesn't matter, I hate them all. It's eight legs were a little on the long side as they clung to the wall.
My mouth popped into an 'O' shape and my eyes widened in terror. What was I going to do now? Should I go and get someone to kill the fiend? No, I couldn't just wake up one of my housemates because of my fear...right? I shook my head knowing I couldn't do that. I just need to deal with it, and hopefully not get killed or injured in the process.
I went through my movements watching the evil creature, never once removing my eyes from it. I got into the shower, peeking over the shower doors to make sure it didn't move towards me. I was safe...for now.
I showered hurriedly, scrubbing the shampoo into my scalp with my fingertips when I decided to take my next peek. To my horror it began moving. No! Why!? Why is this happening!? I just want a shower!
I decided my only way to survive was to scare it. That should work, right? I mean my momma always said that it's probably just as scared of you as you are of it... Although, I doubt it was. These creatures aren't scared of shit, excuse my language. - Side note. Why do people say excuse my French when they curse? I mean it's not like the French are cursing fiends. I mean seriously, their curse words probably don't even sound like shit and bitch, they probably say them in, I don't know, their own language!- Anyways, this thing would definitely not be scared, but I'll try my best.
I screamed. What? If you saw it moving towards you, you'd scream to! I cried tearlessly. It was stuck between one of those half scared laugh and crying. You know what a scared laugh is right? It's like when you're so scared you don't know what to do besides laugh. I did that on a roller coaster once but it wasn't because I was scared. I told my best friend/sister's little sister, R (that's what she'll be called), that the ride was slow because she was scared to go on. I forgot that the roller coaster was in fact NOT slow and would toss us around in our seats quite violently. As I heard her screams I felt horrible! I felt so bad but my reaction to it was to LAUGH! I friggin was giggling and laughing out right like a mad woman! *Shakes my head* But I digress.
So now I'm laughing/crying in the shower and I begin trying to yell at it.
"Please! Stop moving! Don't come this way! Please stop!" *Laugh/crying* "Stay on your side of the bathroom!"
It stopped where it was. Thank God! Every time it would attempt to move it would fall slightly and dangle which caused me to shriek slightly each time. I hurriedly finished my shower, always watching it's movements.
I dried myself off as fast as I could, threw on my robe, grabbed my stuff and raced out of the bathroom. Great, now I won't be able to go to the bathroom all day.
After getting myself ready I heard my housemates so I decided to go talk to them, ask them a question really. I approached my housemate, S (This will be her name in this).
"S, will you please kill the bathroom spider!?" I asked.
"The bathroom spider?" She laughed. I explained to her my horrific experience. "Okay, sure!"
!
I watched as she entered the bathroom and disposed of the fiend. My hero! She barely batted an eyelash! Amazing!
Now you know that the evil creature in my story is a spider. YES! A spider! I hate them. Why am I scared of them? I have no clue why. They're just scary! I mean there are ones that can jump! JUMP! And I read that there are ones that swim! Now I have to be scared when I'm in water too! They're evil killing machines that can snatch up poor defenseless babies, kittens, or puppies! YES YOU HEARD ME! They're friggin killers! Well, in my mind at least.
If you couldn't tell I'm afraid of spiders I'll tell you out right... I'm friggin scared of spiders! Big, small, brown, black, I don't discriminate! I hate them all! They all are scary little fuckers.
Life lesson time? Hmmm, I guess it's okay to be scared. It's part of life. Whether you are scared of spiders, bears, pigs, fish...it's okay. Everyone is scared of something. It's how you face your fears that shows your true character. Yea I couldn't kill the spider, but I still took a shower without fainting. I think that shows my bravery. Hahaha! Yea right...
P.S. Spiders suck! :o)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)