Barney is Evil...?

Do you remember when Barney was the best thing in the world? When you were the coolest f-ing five year old if you had Barney at your birthday party? I do!

I remember Barney coming to my party! It was the best thing in the world! I even have the pictures of me hugging the poor guy in the Barney suit like my life depended on it. I must say that person was a trooper because I have a summer birthday so they were probably sweating their ass off trying to please a bunch of five and six year olds who were hopped up on sugar from the cake we just ate. Mmmmm...cake.

Anyways, My birthday was a success! Barney came, we all got pictures, I got presents...what could have been better? I surely believe nothing could have been better than that! Right...? I have come to tell you that not everyone shares my affections for Barney.

My best friend, who is like my sister, Ni, shared her horrific birthday story with me. She told me that her mother came to her asking if she wanted Barney to come to her party! She warily, yet eagerly agreed to the prospect of the lovable dinosaur coming to her party. Little did she know the terror she would feel at the sight of him.

May I ask, what is so scary about a large green and purple dinosaur?

The day of Ni's birthday had arrived and all was going well...until Barney showed up in all his glory. Instead of running and hugging his leg like I did Ni cowered in fear. She was petrified of Barney and freaked out. Barney was not her friend and she was definitely going to make that fact known, to her parents and especially to the purple and green monster standing before her.

Barney had turned into an evil party ruining being. Till this day Ni can retell her birthday story, recounting her fear to a 't'.

Life lesson? Don't get sweaty people in costumes to come to your kid's parties. Get a damn pony for pony rides, or someone who can paint faces, or small race cars that kids can play with. Just not people in costumes because you never know if your kid will be afraid until you see them with an expression of terror and cowering behind you in fear, as if you were a shield that can protect them from any evil being. :o)